Now, the first time I saw the trailer for G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra one word came to mind: crap. I was not a fan of the cartoon or the toys as a kid; my parents did not allow us to play with them because they glorified war and violence, something which never upset me. Because I was never a fan as a kid, I never knew much about G.I. Joe or C.O.B.R.A. so I really wasn't too excited for this movie. Then I found out that the director was the guy who directed The Mummy movies, which I hated, so that didn't help. Then, when the trailer played and I saw two freaks jumping around in those "football suits" it did not pique my interest.
BUT....
Sienna Miller was looking real good. I decided to give it a try.
People kept saying I was setting myself up for disappointment, that the movie was going to suck. But I didn't care! I was going to be the one guy out there keeping my hopes up for this movie, even if secretly it was just because I wanted to see Sienna Miller in a tight, black, pleather bodysuit. Or two. Or three.
Then I read a couple reviews which basically said, "It's not awful." That didn't instill any hope for me. Then I read that the producers weren't going to let any other critics review the movie out of fear that it would get bad reviews like Transformers 2. That gave me even less hope. I was nervous.
Well, today I went and saw it and must tell you, I was NOT disappointed.
BANG! CRASH! BOOM!
There was SO much action! I mean seriously, this is the movie: Action, action, action, BOOM! take a breath. Ready? BANG!! BOOM!! CRASH!! FIGHT!! Breathe. GO! FIGHT! WIN! Nope, LOSE (SUCKERS)!!! Aww, flashback in a meadow. BBOOOOMMMM!!!!! FIGHT! NINJA KIDS!!! BOOMMM!! CRASH!! MELTING DUDE!!!! BLAM!!!! TWIST!! TURN!!!! BOOM!!! Done. PSYCHE!!!!! Done now.
And...AND...there was a STORY! Sort of! More so than many summer blockbuster action popcorn flicks (Transformers). And what was nice about the story is that it took the time to tell the backstories of most of the main players which helped make these fantastic characters more human. It was rather nicely done.
The acting was pretty typical for these types of movies: fairly cliched and over-the-top. Channing Tatum really isn't a good actor, I'm sorry. Chris Eccleston is great: loved him as The Doctor, loved him on Heroes, loved him here. The biggest surprise was Marlon Wayons. It was a surprise because he was pretty good! He was, like, normal. It was weird to see, but pretty refreshing.
From the few episodes of the G.I. Joe cartoon I've seen, I'd say this movie was pretty much in line with that in regard to the amount of campiness and characterization. Just in case you were a fan of the cartoon and were wondering about that.
I only had a couple real problems with the movie. First, I thought the deaths and character relationships portrayed in this movie will end up hurting future sequels. Two major players won't be around for their respective teams anymore and that will really take away from future installments. Secondly, I thought some of the big twists and reveals were anti-climactic and should have occurred earlier in the movie. When they did occur, it seemed rushed and then nothing happened as a result of the twists so they seemed pretty pointless.
Ok, so I recommend this movie to anyone who wants to have some fun at the movie theater this summer. Lots of action, lots of fun! Go SEE IT!!!
I DO NOT recommend this for young kids. Too violent and scary.
P.S.--Sienna Miller is SUPER HOT! I know some of you out there think Megan Fox is the shit, but I'm saying this right now: Ms. Fox is a child next to Sienna. A child. Thank you and good night!
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