INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS!

Ah, Quentin Tarantino, how I have missed you.

Tarantino is easily my favorite director. He made Kill Bill which is probably my favorite movie of all time (I consider both parts as one movie) and hasn't made anything I really didn't like (something I can't say about any other director). Pulp Fiction was perfect and Reservoir Dogs was pretty damned awesome, too. I even liked Jackie Brown, though it wasn't his best.

This was new Tarantino, though. This was WWII Tarantino. So, how did it stack up?

Very well, thank you. You would think this movie would be super-duper gory. Think about it: the basic plot is about a troop of U.S. Jewish soldiers hunting Nazis through occupied France and killing them violently before scalping them. They let one guy go to spread the word, but they take the time to carve a swastika in his forehead so everyone will know he was a Nazi. But it wasn't overly violent. I mean, it's war so there is violence and blood, but nothing like Reservoir Dogs or Pulp Fiction. In fact, it was mostly guys sitting at tables talking.

Really.

It starts with two guys talking at a table. Then Brad Pitt talking to some guys. Then some Nazis talking to a woman at a table. Then the Basterds (The Jewish troops) talking to a traitor at a table at a bar. Then a bunch of Nazis watching a movie. But it wasn't slow and it wasn't boring. Tarantino's skill with dialogue is uncanny. He can make all these people sitting at a table talking suspenseful and tense.

And man, was this movie funny. So many of the characters were characatures or blatant stereotypes. The absurdity of it all was fantastically funny.

Brad Pitt was absolutely hilarious with his stereotypical portrayal of a grizzled mid-western war vet. Eli Roth as a Bostonian with some sociopathic tendencies was great. They guys who played Hitler and Groebbel were both excellent with their blatantly over-the-top-evil portrayals of those historical figures. Hell, Mike Myers even made a goofy little cameo!

The woman who played the Jewish cinema owner really was relatable and made you feel her anger and frustration putting the humanity in the film.

The man who played Landa, the "Jew Hunter", stole the show. He was funny, creepy, terrifying, subtle, over-the-top all in equal measure. You always knew where he was and wanted to keep an eye out for him because you always felt his evil. He always seemed to know more than anyone else on screen and was ready to use that knowledge to push forward his agenda. All the while, he is talking to everyone like he's their best buddy or like he's just a normal guy out there doing his job, no matter how unpleasant that may be. Excellent depiction of a character that will go down in film history as one of nastiest.

Inglourious Basterds is long. Like 3 hours long. It's not slow or anything, but by the end your butt's a little sore. When I saw it, we had an inadvertent intermission, which in retrospect was very nice.

Go see this film. Seriously, it's a fun fable with some of the most interesting characters you are going to see in a movie this summer!

Oh, yeah, Grindhouse was freakin' great, too!!!

District 9 and The Time Traveler's Wife

District 9

District 9 is science fiction at it's best. It's an allegory for modern racial tension across the world. It is intelligent. And it has a lot of exploding bodies. How cool is that?

District 9's story is pretty straight forward. It's about a group of aliens stuck on earth who live in a refugee camp. They aren't popular with the natives so they are being moved, chaos ensues. It's a very well told story framed as a documentary, although it seems to lose the documentary structure in the middle for awhile before returning to it at the end. The characters are all relatable, each with their own clear motivations which really help propel the story along.

The actors are all very good, especially the actor who played Wikes (? I think that's how you spell it, and I'm not going to try the last names). He makes a pretty unappealing guy relatable and really pulls some sympathy out of the viewer.

I recommend this to any true science fiction fan.

The Time Traveler's Wife

The Time Traveler's Wife is the story of the love between a man who is frequently displaced in time and the woman who has loved him since she was a child.

The story is really nice and sweet. At times it is hard to follow because it really bounces all around and isn't told in a linear fashion, but overall it's pretty clearly told. I liked it because it was a sweet love story that never became sappy like many chick flicks do.

Eric Bana isn't that great of an actor, but I thought he was fine here. Rachel McAdams is beautiful. Oh yeah, and she made a woman in an unbelievable situation relatable, which was not an insignificant accomplishment.

I recommend this for couples who like movies.

YO!

Real American heroes! G.I. Joe is the-e-ere!!!

Now, the first time I saw the trailer for G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra one word came to mind: crap. I was not a fan of the cartoon or the toys as a kid; my parents did not allow us to play with them because they glorified war and violence, something which never upset me. Because I was never a fan as a kid, I never knew much about G.I. Joe or C.O.B.R.A. so I really wasn't too excited for this movie. Then I found out that the director was the guy who directed The Mummy movies, which I hated, so that didn't help. Then, when the trailer played and I saw two freaks jumping around in those "football suits" it did not pique my interest.

BUT....

Sienna Miller was looking real good. I decided to give it a try.

People kept saying I was setting myself up for disappointment, that the movie was going to suck. But I didn't care! I was going to be the one guy out there keeping my hopes up for this movie, even if secretly it was just because I wanted to see Sienna Miller in a tight, black, pleather bodysuit. Or two. Or three.

Then I read a couple reviews which basically said, "It's not awful." That didn't instill any hope for me. Then I read that the producers weren't going to let any other critics review the movie out of fear that it would get bad reviews like Transformers 2. That gave me even less hope. I was nervous.

Well, today I went and saw it and must tell you, I was NOT disappointed.

BANG! CRASH! BOOM!

There was SO much action! I mean seriously, this is the movie: Action, action, action, BOOM! take a breath. Ready? BANG!! BOOM!! CRASH!! FIGHT!! Breathe. GO! FIGHT! WIN! Nope, LOSE (SUCKERS)!!! Aww, flashback in a meadow. BBOOOOMMMM!!!!! FIGHT! NINJA KIDS!!! BOOMMM!! CRASH!! MELTING DUDE!!!! BLAM!!!! TWIST!! TURN!!!! BOOM!!! Done. PSYCHE!!!!! Done now.

And...AND...there was a STORY! Sort of! More so than many summer blockbuster action popcorn flicks (Transformers). And what was nice about the story is that it took the time to tell the backstories of most of the main players which helped make these fantastic characters more human. It was rather nicely done.

The acting was pretty typical for these types of movies: fairly cliched and over-the-top. Channing Tatum really isn't a good actor, I'm sorry. Chris Eccleston is great: loved him as The Doctor, loved him on Heroes, loved him here. The biggest surprise was Marlon Wayons. It was a surprise because he was pretty good! He was, like, normal. It was weird to see, but pretty refreshing.

From the few episodes of the G.I. Joe cartoon I've seen, I'd say this movie was pretty much in line with that in regard to the amount of campiness and characterization. Just in case you were a fan of the cartoon and were wondering about that.

I only had a couple real problems with the movie. First, I thought the deaths and character relationships portrayed in this movie will end up hurting future sequels. Two major players won't be around for their respective teams anymore and that will really take away from future installments. Secondly, I thought some of the big twists and reveals were anti-climactic and should have occurred earlier in the movie. When they did occur, it seemed rushed and then nothing happened as a result of the twists so they seemed pretty pointless.

Ok, so I recommend this movie to anyone who wants to have some fun at the movie theater this summer. Lots of action, lots of fun! Go SEE IT!!!

I DO NOT recommend this for young kids. Too violent and scary.

P.S.--Sienna Miller is SUPER HOT! I know some of you out there think Megan Fox is the shit, but I'm saying this right now: Ms. Fox is a child next to Sienna. A child. Thank you and good night!

The Hughes Effect

I was introduced to the films of John Hughes by Kevin Smith. His obsession with the filmmaker made Mr. Hughes seem cool, like where cool came from.

This mildly piqued my interest in the brat pack films, but I never actually went out of my way to watch any. I told a friend this and she almost attacked me. She threw several DVDs at me including Pretty in Pink and Sixteen Candles and ordered me to watch them immediately. So I did.

Well, I instantly fell in love with Molly Ringwald. Then I sat back and started to think about the films. In them, Hughes was able to convey the confusion and insecurities of teenagers in a way I hadn't really seen before: with brutal honesty. Hughes had a way to cut out the fat and the grey-areas and get right to the crux of teenage emotion like few filmmakers could.

Upon further research I learned that Hughes also wrote the National Lampoon: Vacation movies and also the Home Alone movies. Obviously--beyond his ability to tap into the teenage psyche--he had the ability to tickle the funny bone.

To me, though, his greatest masterwork had the be Ferris Bueller's Day Off. This is one of the funniest, most inspiring movies I've ever seen. It was about freedom, and bravado, and doing the things we are wish we could do. Like Catcher in the Rye, Ferris Bueller made me want to stick my middle finger up to society and do things my way. And all this while making me laugh riotously. It takes a gifted man to make a film like that.

Thank you Mr. Hughes, you will be missed.

Geoff Johns Can Do The Impossible

When it comes to comic book, I have been a Marvel-guy through and through. No variance. I read Marvel comics with the occasional exception of a Batman comic here and there. I'd check out DC events like Infinite Crisis and Final Crisis, but frankly, I wasn't a fan. I knew nothing about the history of the characters or the DC Universe (from now on called the DCU), so I didn't really care about the stories.

A few months ago I realized I was poor and couldn't afford to be buying comics regularly any more so I stopped buying them. One thing caught my eye, though, Green Lantern: Blackest Night, a DC comic event. I thought the idea sounded cool, but again, I didn't know much about Green Lantern or the complex history, so I didn't think I would start reading this big event.

As I read Wizard magazine, they kept hyping Blackest Night, saying it was going to be awesome and giving information for people who were interested in it. I read this info, and it intrigued me. I decided to pick up the big story-line before Blackest Night called the Sinestro Corps. War.

It was awesome.

So I have been picking up the rest of the stuff that came between Sinestro Corps. and the current Blackest Night, and let me tell you, the quality is consistently good.

For this, you can thank Geoff Johns, the mastermind writing these great stories. He is weaving a dense, complex tale filled with action and intrigue as well as some straight up terror (there be super-hero zombies walkin' round the DCU right now, folks)! It's a story about emotion and it's effect on the universe. It's a story that pits some of the DCU's greatest heroes against dark, twisted, and abstract versions of themselves.

And the art is pretty, too! The guys they have working the pencils on these stories are freaking phenomenal, giving consistent, realistic portrayals of some of the weirdest looking creatures ever drawn. It's great!

Seriously, if you are a comic fan, get out there and check this story out! Issue 1 of Blackest Night is on the shelves now, go get it!

27 Ain't Bad

100 Books

Where do you fall in the list? The BBC believes most people will have read only 6 of the 100 books here.

Copy this into your NOTES. Look at the list and put an 'x' after those you have read. Tag other book nerds.

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen -
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien-x
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte -x
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling -X
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee X
6 The Bible (The entire thing!)-
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell-x
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman-x
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens-x

Total: 7

11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott -
12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy-
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller-x
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier-x
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien-x
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger -x
19 The Time Traveler’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger -
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot

Total: 4
Total so far: 11

21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell -
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald-
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy-
25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams-
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll -x
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame-

Total: 1
Total so far: 12

31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens-
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis- x
34 Emma-Jane Austen -
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen-x
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis-X
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden -
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne -

Total: 3
Total so far: 15

41 Animal Farm - George Orwell -x
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown-X
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez-
44 A Prayer for Owen Meany - John Irving-
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery -
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding-x
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan

Total: 3
Total so far: 18

51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel -
52 Dune - Frank Herbert-x
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons-
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen -
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley-x
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon-
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez

Total: 2
Total so far: 20


61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck -x
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov-
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas-
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding X
69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville

Total:1
Total so far: 21

71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens -
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker-x
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett-
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce-
76 The Inferno – Dante
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession - AS Byatt-

Total: 1
Total so far: 22

81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens -
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker-x
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert -
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistr
87 Charlotte’s Web - EB White- X
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle-x
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton

Total: 3
Total so far: 25

91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams-
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole-
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare -x
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl - X
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

Total: 2
Total: 27

4 Movie Reviews for the Price of One!!!

This was a busy weekend for me movie-wise. I got to see not one, not two, but FOUR films (as you could probably have guessed from the title). None of theses are connected in any way, shape or form, but whatever, here ya go:

The Reader

This film was simply phenomenal. I mean, wow. Kate Winslet is so amazing. So amazing!

The story of The Reader is tough. It's harsh and deals with some really tough moral issues. How responsible do you hold a simple woman who worked as a Nazi guard and allowed hundreds to die because of her sense of "responsibility"? If you have evidence to help her get a lighter sentence do you help her? What if you love her, does that change your opinion?

The first half is basically a porno, so if that makes you uncomfortable, stay away. There is a lot of nudity and sex, but it's done tastefully, for the most part. I personally didn't think all of the nudity was necessary, but one of my fellow viewers told me I was being an old geezer and that it was fine.

The acting was exceptional, especially Ms. Winslet and Ralph Fiennes. But gave believable, powerful performances filled with emotion and subtlety. Winslet deserved all the recognition she received for this performance and Fiennes deserved more.

Overall, this film is just wonderful and I recommend it for any adult who is looking for a serious, thought-provoking film experience.

Breakfast at Tiffany's

I'm twenty-seven and I'm just seeing Breakfast at Tiffany's for the first time. I was told that was pitiable so I thought I'd let you all know that. After seeing it, I'd have to agree, it's something everyone should watch.

There is a reason Breakfast at Tiffany's is a classic, I'm just not sure what it is. The story is interesting, surprisingly complex. I thought it was a bit odd, personally, but still, I was engaged. Apparently it was a Truman Capote story which makes me want to find the book and give it a read.

The acting was typical '60's, a little stiff, a little over-the-top, but fun nonetheless. Audrey Hepburn was as cute as could be and a good deal of fun to watch. I don't know who the dude was, but he was pretty good, too.

This is a classic folks, everyone should see it!

Green Lantern: First Flight

Green Lantern: First Flight is the latest of DC Comics animated movies based on stories from their comic books. This one isn't actually based on a specific story like Superman: Doomsday or Justice League: The New Frontier but rather a combo of Hal Jordan's origin story and the Sinestro Corp. War. All together it was a pretty fun and interesting story with a lot of action and fun moments.

I recommend this to any comic book fan, especially any Green Lantern fan or anyone who is picking up the current Blackest Night story.

The Hangover

This movie is RIDICULOUS!!! RIDICULOUS!!! So far over the top it's just insane.

I don't know what it was about the story that was so damned funny. The characters were pretty cliche (the weirdo, the nerd, the sleaze, the straight-man) and the story was pretty typical (guys get drunk, chaos ensues) but for some reason, this one stands out. Most likely it's because the story isn't totally linear and its all about putting together the pieces to find out what happened the night before (like Dude, Where's My Car, only good). And they kinda throw you for a loop in the beginning because if you didn't know what the movie was about going into it, you'd be led to believe it was a legit suspenseful mystery (and all the horror trailers beforehand certainly put you in the mood for something serious and scary).

There was a surprising amount of penis in this movie. After The Reader, I was pretty much set with penises this weekend, so I really didn't need that, but everyone else in the theater was laughing so I guess it works.

The acting was hilarious. Each of the main guys played their part wonderfully. Each of the cameos were great, also, especially Mike Tyson. He's just terrifying, especially when he's being funny. Terrifying.

Make sure you stay for the credits. You get to see some of the pictures from the night in question and they are friggin' great.

I recommend this to anyone who likes crude, college humor. This one's full of it at it's best.

P.S.--Bradley Cooper, would you please make a movie where you aren't sleazy? Please?

Please?